Sunday, March 28, 2021

Work

My work history:

  1.  Babysitting - I started this in earnest when I was 11 for $1 an hour! I made flyers of a sort and left them in the mailboxes of neighbors who had little kids (which is funny because today I'd likely consider eleven as a little kid). And I never even considered asking my parents if this was okay first. I loved babysitting and was actually pretty good at it (according to the kids and parents), and I continued to babysit until my early 20s.
  2. McDonald's - Shortly after I turned 16, I applied at McDonald's using my chosen spelling of my name - Pennie (again without first consulting Mom and Dad). I remember that my sometimes-boyfriend, Jeff, drove me to my interview and I wore yellow sweatpants and pink and blue striped nail polish! Sheesh! I did get the job, and worked there for about three years. Apparently, at some point during that time, my mother worked there as well, but it seems that that was such a traumatic event that I've blocked it from my memory.
  3. Sears - I left McDonald's briefly to work in the children's department at Sears in the mall. I'd have to sometimes get to work at 5:30 am to unload deliveries, and sold children's clothes to Lance Parrish's wife! I really don't remember why I left this job; maybe I was offered a raise to return to McDonald's?
  4. Dish room - Worked VERY briefly in my dorm's dish room. Very gross.
  5. JCPenney - Seasonal work over my first college Christmas break. I started in Gifts and Lamps, and then when the return season started I was moved up to the woman's department. Left to return to CMU.
  6. KFC - Guernsey's - 7-11 - McDonald's The summer after my freshman year - I worked three jobs at a time PLUS took a pre-calc class. And I spent a lot of time consuming adult beverages with friends. I didn't sleep much that summer, and needless to say, I didn't do great in pre-calc.
  7. Dominos - So, I had just moved in to my first apartment, and I applied to deliver pizzas. First problem - I had a pretty crappy driving record, so they instead hired me to answer phones. Second problem - I wrote the wrong phone number down (this was back in the day when you'd get a new number every time you moved!) so they sent a driver to my apartment to offer me the job! Third (and last) problem - I was "on call" on a Saturday night (double whammy party night - Western Weekend AND Halloween). My roommate and I party hopped, and I dutifully called in at each new party. Finally, we landed at our friend's house; I called (for probably the 6th or 7th time); they said to come in; I passed out instead, and when I went to work the next day, my name had been erased from the schedule! Only job I've ever been fired from, but it turned into a blessing of sorts.
  8. The Main - My first "real" job - or at least the first one to pay me a living wage. I started out as a waitress, and soon moved up to bartender. I liked this job.
  9. Card Room - Dealt poker and sometimes blackjack and made the BIG bucks here. It was a great job until my ego got in the way, and then I hated it. I left and returned three times - once because of our move to Vegas, once because of my husband and I separated and he worked there, too, once because I was bitter about the policy to put Native Americans in a job that I was better qualified for. After my third return, I'd let go of all of my bitterness and just enjoyed the job again. I finally left because a policy change required part-timers to work at least two days a week and I was entering my second year of teaching AND 7 months pregnant. Had I been able to continue working one weekend a month, I may very well still be there.
  10. Sassy Sally's - I wore a HUGE yellow foam hat and tried to persuade people to come in and lose their money on a slot machine. It was a shitty job, but I appear in pictures with strangers from around the world!
  11. Nevada Palace - Sold change for slot machines. Another pretty shitty job, and REALLY hard on my body - I lugged around a hundred pounds of change in a tool belt. :P
  12. The Brass Saloon - Blech! Food waitressing for a pig of a boss and a manager who tried to under pay us. This was my job during the separation. It REALLY sucked!
  13. Morey Charter School - Listening Ear - Teaching Home - Again, I worked three jobs at once, this time because I left the casino because of my bitterness. These were all decent jobs, but even with working all three, I didn't make as much as I did at the casino, so after about a year, I went back to slinging cards.
  14. Substitute teaching - I nearly didn't include this one, because it was only for six weeks, but I did a long-term stint at an alternative middle school.
  15. Farwell Area Schools - When I did my taxes during my third year of teaching, it was the first time in my working career that I only had ONE w2. It was crazy. Been here ever since.


For many years, I LOVED teaching. Like, serious love. I would often weep with gratitude when I spoke with people about teaching, and I'd be eager to start a new year each fall. Then about 5 years ago, a crappy administrator changed all of that for me, and I am now counting down the days until I can retire. I am SO done, but the current health benefits and even more so the retirement health benefits are keeping me here for another four years. 

Some days - many days - I weep with horror at the reality that I need to continue doing this. And I weep for my broken heart because the glee that I used to feel every day at work was ripped from me. I know that my retirement will include a job, and I'm looking forward to one that I can actually leave at work.

Monday, February 22, 2021

Obstacles

After a lot of false starts and contemplation, I believe that my biggest obstacle is inertia. I can envision the life that I'd like to lead; I know what I have to do to get there (mostly), but instead I just sit around and daydream about my future or about the things I should have done in the past, and just let the present slide through my consciousness without really paying attention. I have all kinds of plans, but most of them just stay in "some day".

But hey, I'm making some progress. When I turned 50, I reintroduced my exercise habit and have done yoga nearly every day for the last two and a half years. I built on that and began a daily meditation practice a year ago, and last August, I became a certified yoga instructor, plus I can now do ten push ups! I've also been sewing more - I've made over a hundred masks in the last year, plus a pair of shorts for Carlos, a wallet for Al and one for me, and I'm working on my first quilt. I've developed a daily journaling habit - something I've been attempting for forty years - and I've sent birthday cards to important people in my life.

So, really, when I look at it more closely, maybe my biggest obstacle is that I focus on all of the stuff I want to do, but don't value the things I have done.

I don't know. This has been tough to write. Maybe overthinking is my biggest obstacle?